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We all know that if we don’t exercise, our body starts to atrophy and fall apart. The term “Use it or lose it!” applies to pretty much all aspects of life.  Well, self-love is no different! Unfortunately some do not grasp the importance of self-love. Self-love is loving yourself unconditionally. Self-love is not a state of being, like peace and stress, but more of an act. It is an act that is developed over time, like doing weights to increase muscle mass. When you stop working out, your body immediately turns to break down, so does self-love.

What is Self-Love?

Self-love is not a destination but a regular practice. As the old adage goes, “It’s about the journey, not the destination.” 

Self-love is literally the foundation on which we build a happy, healthy life, and without self-love, we have nowhere to place the love and abundance that life sends our way.

Before you can receive love and respect from others, you need to love & respect yourself.

Self-Criticism, Good or Detrimental, and Its Effect on Self-Love

All criticism, if not constructive is terrible for you. I tend to not agree with using “criticism” and “constructive” in the same sentence. However, we tend to believe that there is such a thing as constructive and destructive criticism – semantics I guess!

For semantics’ sakes, we are usually wired to be super critical and hard on ourselves. Our brains process over 50,000-70,000 thoughts a day [1], and most of them are not exactly constructive or uplifting, they make you feel bad. We tend to live in the past, repeat old behaviours and continuously reprimand ourselves and this does not make you feel good about yourself or help your mental health. 

This is why I believe that self-criticism or criticism, in general, is not constructive. It keeps you focused on what’s wrong with you. This leads to a decline in confidence. It makes you afraid of failure, and we all know fear comes with many side effects such as performance issues, diminishes resiliency, lead to poor decisions and the list goes on.

Fear and lack of confidence can literally hold you back from reaching your goals and dreams.

The Benefits of Practicing Self-Love

Learning to love yourself

Motivation

Willpower

Clarity and better decision-making ability

Resilience

Better mental state and health

Higher emotional intelligence

Lowers stress levels stemming from overwhelming, worry and anxiety

How to strengthen Your Ability For Self-Love

Mindfulness: Being present in the now and not dwelling on the past or living in the future is a great way to start. Being mindful allows you to know that what you’re thinking & feeling is what you innately desire. Being mindful is the act of intuitively knowing what you really want, rather than what other’s want.

Boundaries: There is nothing wrong with say, “NO.” One of the worst things we can do is compromise what we really want for ourselves to satisfy someone else. It is not selfish to say know. Saying no is actually one of the healthiest things you can do for yourself. Your body knows what you need (not what you want – a big difference!). Set limits, be it for work, relationships, diets, and so on. Just be sure that you are saying no because this is how you really feel and not just out of spite. 

Say Good-bye to toxic people: These people are commonly known as energy vampires. These are the people that don’t motivate you or always come to you when they are in distress. The type of people that get pleasure from your suffering, as it makes them feel better about their misfortunes and hardships. Do an entourage detox.

Forgive yourself: As mentioned above, we are our most severe critics. No one criticizes you better and more severe than yourself. Nobody is perfect, and that is in itself is perfectly imperfect. You can only truly experience self-love when you truly forgive yourself. We all make mistakes, simply accept, learn from it and move forward. 

Live with an intention:If your plan is to live a healthy life, you will program your subconscious, (known to control 90-95% of our daily activities) to make decisions that support your intention [2].

Communication is key! Your inner dialogue is one of the most crucial factors to your mental wellbeing and ability for self-love. Everything this galaxy has to offer us is energy, vibration and frequency. In the famous words of one of the greatest inventors Nikola Tesla:

“If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.” – Nikola Tesla

All our thoughts are generated by energy, which is then created into words. These words become feeling & emotions, which eventually become actions & behaviours. This is the recipe to life and creating positive, creative and powerful self-love and health.

Be kind and gentle with yourself: This is similar to forgiving yourself. Would you reprimand and completely destroy a young child for spilling the milk? Most of us would say no. So why would you be so hard on yourself? Treat yourself as you would a delicate and young child.

Trust & honesty: here is a mechanism within you called intuition. Others call it a gut feeling. All that can be said is “TRUST IT!”. Ninety-nine percent of the time, this will not steer you wrong. On the rare occasion that it does, you can at least live with the fact that you made that decision, you failed, and you learned from it.

Hygienic self-care: Taking better care of yourself and nourishing your body, mind and soul is what we call tending to your basic needs, self-care. High self-love cannot be attained without nourishing ourselves daily through healthy activities that resonate with you personally.

A bonus tip would to create a gratitude list. Write down things you are grateful for every day. Gratitude and appreciation are some of the most powerful healing frequencies available to us.

Be well, be happy and to your health. You deserve to be happy and healthy.

We would love to hear what self-love means to you? Let us know in the comment section below.